Why do soo many people use the "ferber method" but then not even read up what the "ferber method" is?

I agree! I think it's child abuse. It hurts my heart so bad to hear my baby cry for any reason. If you Dont want to care for your baby then give them to someone who will

Idk I would never be ableto do that to my ten month old and never tried! Even though family and friends tell me even during the day I should let her cry instead of picking her up. But I still don't! And guess what people my daughter slept through the night around 2 months old with a few exceptions a month where she is hungry or just wanting her mommy.

it's the same as time-outs for very small children when instead of taking the child away and calming them down and giving them time out from what was agitating them they just send them to their room and call that a time-out. Something about calming them down etc is giving them attention for negative behavior. Unfortunately, professionals don't like giving actual information about different things, and instead like to resort to their beliefs regarding psychology and children in general. Either way it's all pretty unnatural and I guess that's why people like it - to put themselves above all that is natural so we can remind ourselves we are not like animals - we conquer nature and eachother. But it sounds like something is going on with your friend. It's got nothing to do with any sort of method but they do what they were designed to do - give parents an excuse and make it sound legit. That's all they really are even if you do stick to the guides exactly.

"Why do soo many people" - these must be just your friends. The mothers I know who have used it has spoken to their doctor (the child's doctor) & read more than one book. Find new friends or learn more about it. Have you all the way through MORE THAN ONE book to get different opinions??? I can clearly see you are against it but most often people who feel as strongly as you do haven't read about it. Remember what works for one family will not work for another. Also keep in mind each book is different. When were trying to get my oldest to learn to sleep on her own I read many books on the subject plus books on cosleeping. I wanted to get a wide view on what worked & what didn't. Some books said "let the child cry 5mins then spend 5mins with the child to comfort then back out then let them cry again" while another said "cry 5mins comfort come out, cry 10mins, comfort come out, cry 15mins" & so on. Each book had a different plan & schedule.

There are right ways and wrong ways to do the cry it out method. I believe it is an effective method if used correctly. i have two young kids. and i have let them cry it out. but i never let them cry for long periods of time. when i say cry it out, i mean i put them to sleep and let them cry for no more than 10 minutes before going back and checking on them. a parent should never let their child sit there crying for more than 10-15 minutes at a time. that borders on neglect, if your just letting your child cry and cry for an extended period of time. but as long its only for short intervals, there is nothing wrong with the cry it out method. i think its effective at helping children learn to self soothe. of course, only for older babies. this should never be done on newborns and really young babies.

the cry it out method i think is horrible, however, sometimes is necessary. i have an 11 month old boy and i used to rock him to sleep and naps and all of a sudden when he turned 10 months he didnt want to be rocked anymore so i would just put him in his crib and the first week he cried 7-10 mins and now he just plays and goes to sleep on his own. and he is been sleeping all night sense he was 3 months