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Is rape an animal instinct?

How to appease my angry survival instinct?

  • I've been abused all my life, with violence. Physically, emotionally, sexually, financially... at home, at work, by my lovers, by my friends... But the worst part is the counsellors and therapists... they are worst than criminals... their idea to care for someone is to drug them, lock them up, even beat and electrocute them. They mock our pain, ridicule it, blame our personality... when it's clearly post traumatic stress... they blame our ways to cope as the problem, they blame our adaptation to survive as the problem... But the atrocities done to us, they either don't believe it, or think it was justified because we are sooo defective. That's our caregivers. It makes me angry. So angry. People asking me if I forgot to take my meds because I fight for my rights, when I don't need any! I need RESPECT! I am angry... I am losing it... my reason to be kind... my reason to stay calm... I understand... so much. I know why I'm like this. I am not even evil, I am not defective, I am not insane. It's my will to live... my will to survive... as people mob me, bully me, attack me, try to rape me... How can I not be angry... but people refuse to help me... if I was crying and on medication, powerless, like a poor little lamb easy to dominate... oh they would love me now... But if I stand up for myself, if I don't use drugs or pills... then something have to be very wrong with me, my personnality and who I am. I am sick of it! Sick of people believing that it,s insane to fight for your rights! That kindness is controlling, drugging, putting in a cage, and causing brain damage until he person shut up and don't bother anyone complaining... How can I calm down, when the very concept of help in this world is to make things worst, is to cause way more harm. I am sick of it! Sick of people telling me I'm defective when my body finally convinced me that it's about time that I let it do it's job, that I let it protect me! Because no one will. Not even the people paid to do it. Even them just want to have a power trip for their ego abusing the weak, mocking them, ridiculing their pain and what they've been through. When those people are clueless. They don't even understand the human body, the human psyche, and they don't even base their beliefs on medical proofs. But people worship them. "Don't hug your friends, don't listen to them, don't be there for them! Send them to us, so you can continue to have fun in peace, they're defective, we'll fix their brains!" Sick... sick... SICK! AND CRIMINAL! How can I calm my survival instinct... when people's idea of compassion is something so heartless... I am so angry. If someone tell me to my face to take meds and go to the hospital again... I don't know what I'm going to do! They don't even believe me! They don't even believe the abuse that care practitioners did to me! Even when I give them the facts... None of them even been able to explain the diagnosis, so of course none of them could help... Just standing there like a potted plant, letting me vent and telling me to find all my solutions by myself... The only advice I got is to be polite with people dragging me by the hairs trying to rape me... The only reason I didn't get raped is my anger. I sure can scare the hell out of people just by a glance. SO how can I calm down my rabid monster... when it's the only kindness I know... the only thing that I can rely on... The poor beast... how can I let him have a rest? (Without drugs and chains mind you! How can I let it express himself? How can I free that rage positively? If I keep building it up I'm going to explode.)

  • Answer:

    The best way to get rid of fear and pain and anger is in service to others. Use it to be an advocate for others with mental illness. Get educated and get out there. See NAMI.org for more information about helping the mentally ill. More importantly, continue to be your OWN health advocate: physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. You cannot control anyone else; only YOUR reaction to them. Again NAMI.org may help with that too.

Lisa at Yahoo! Answers Visit the source

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Hey Lisa, Well, you sure have clearly stated your past, present and possibly your future if you continue ranting about the health care providers. I do not know if you need medication or not and I am not putting down the medical community because I belong to it. But here's an alternative below.... I understand 100 % where you are coming from. I am so sorry that your post traumatic treatment has been uneventful for you....It is certainly a difficult decision to make to turn your life over to practitioners who want to medicate you, when you have NO confidence in them. You didn't mention your age, living situation, relationships etc.....but if you feel so very strong against medical treatment then I would move on to getting the support, love and outlets for taking care of yourself in a positive way. Now don't shut me down until you hear what I'm trying to get you to understand. People around you are your main source of love, security, self confidence, self esteem and love for your self. And apparently the people you are consumed by are not meeting your needs. Please listen to me another few minutes....I am a psych RN, not a holy roller...I belong to a spiritual community at my church that has worked miracles with young and old folks that are drifting through life with no satisfaction or appeasement in life.....Please visit some churches in your area, do not settle in one that you do not feel secure in...look for a non-denominational, one that has programs for young people, services directed towards teens and your age group. You will find in time you will gain many relationships with people who genuinely care for you and will support and help you get through your toughest of times. You will be loved, respected and your self esteem will go through the ceiling and when you feel good about you then you will be able to deal with the PTS...their are groups held at these spiritual communities that you can share your heart aches and the triggers that put you in a state that you describe above....I am not saying your family does not love you, but this is a different love you will receive, one that will listen to you and not judge you or know what is best for you.... Please try it for a few months, no one will be putting pills in your mouth, and you just may find all the answers and strength to move on and deal with your past. You are a good person and deserving of happiness, love and a happy future. God Bless and good luck Honey.....you deserve it.....

angelohmercy1

Lisa, I don't blame you for not believing the medication hype fed to us by the psychiatric community. However, I must say that you still have a lot of anger that must be dealt with. Right now you are in denial. You are still blaming everyone else for your problems. Granted, the victimization you endured was not your fault. However, it is YOUR responsibility to rise above it. That must involve serious soul-searching and a willingness to heal, even though the road toward healing may be painful. Only you can do this, and you cannot expect the world to bend to your will because you were hurt. Many people have been hurt, and all of us have had to come to terms and face this pain. You can do it without meds, but it means you must also be willing to be brutally honest with the people who are there to help you, no matter how much it hurts. Good luck!

HakunaKahuna

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