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Self esteem boosting site for teen girls.

I desperately need help in boosting my self esteem!?

  • I have always known I have problems with self esteem, but at this point in my life it is beginning to affect major things. It was a big cause in the breakdown of my relationship which had lasted over two years and is affecting my work at university. I would go as far as to say that it is cripplingly bad. I have no self confidence. Despite the fact that I do get attention from men and at the pub where I work a lot of men will leave their numbers for me etc, I just cannot take that as a compliment and I cannot take on board that somebody might find me attractive. I couldn't be happy in my relationship because of this. I always worried I wasn't enough for my partner or that he would go for other, better looking girls. This irrational paranoia meant that I could never be happy and that any girls that were friends with my ex were seen as a massive threat to me. I can't go shopping on my own because I worry what others are thinking about me. What they think of how I look or about what I am wearing. On the odd occasion I do go shopping alone I have sometimes had to leave shops because the people working there are so attractive and I feel, I don't even know what I feel. I know I am not a bad looking person, I am slim and generally have a good figure but I just can't help but worry what other people are thinking about me. I constantly look for the bad in people, like if somebody is fat or comes across as stupid I ave to make a comment because it makes me feel better about myself if I can convince myself that other people are worse than me. I literally HATE this side of me. I am 22 years old and it is seriously starting to get me down. I want to get out there and be independent and successful and have a relationship. I know I am not a bad person, I am selfless and put everyone else and their feelings before myself (probably because I have such low self worth) and I would do anything for the people that I love. This issue with my self esteem thought is really starting to ruin my happiness. I don't even know where to start at getting it sorted. I feel too embarrassed to see somebody about it, I just wondered what kind of help is available? Or if there is anything online or any books that might help me?! Many thanks :)

  • Answer:

    In order for you to be truly happy and to live a life filled with love, peace and joy you must absolutely LOVE all of yourself unconditionally. And right now that's not happening. You have a lot of negative statements here. You literally put yourself down in almost every sentence. So first of all, I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay and learn how to use powerful self-affirmations to build love, acceptance, appreciation, and respect for yourself. That book, if you read it and apply the affirmations, will change your life. I know it changed mine and lots and lots of other peoples. I can remember a time in my life when I felt that exact same way about myself. Living with low self esteem is a major factor in how your life ultimately works out. So the sooner you start building self-love the better. Best of luck to you.

Michelle at Yahoo! Answers Visit the source

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You shouldn't spend your life worrying about what others think, I know it's a little hard to ignore it sometimes but really, who gives a eef about what others think about you? Caring about what others opinions on you are only makes you upset and self conscious. In life people are going to try and put you down to make themselves feel better, don't listen to what anybody else says, don't give them the satisfaction of making you feel down! P.s you are amazing in your own way! Xx.

Alycia

You're likely pretty depressed. You should visit a therapist to see if you have Borderline Personality Disorder. Which can sometimes be helped with Cognitive Behavior Therapy. Do you think your two-year relationship is permanently dead?

mcd

One thing that comes to mind is that you didn't get to feeling this poorly by yourself; every baby is born (we hope... if they've a Parent and a bed) safe, happy, warm, innocent. It's 100%-positive that *someone* around that innocent You "constantly looked for the bad in people" and said you were fat or that you came across as stupid... just so that they'd feel better about *them*selves. I don't know--I'm in pain today, myself--but surely it can't hurt to think, "Let the world be a better place and let it begin with me"--like, "Let no other person have to feel this way again, let alone by my hand!" On your embarrassment: Actually, I think you're being very open about something very common--yet it's something that most people aren't brave enough to be say. So *I* think you're ready (say, "ready as I'll ever be!"--it's usually true! lol) to talk to a therapist. --I mean, you brought it HERE, where people are often really nasty, didn't you?! Don't let someone who "made a comment" "ruin your happiness"--that's WAY too much. And you don't have to be embarrassed about something you've actually demonstrated some real courage with today, either. <3, <3. P.S.~ The current media climate we all live in is *designed* to slaughter our self-esteem, too; we simply wouldn't buy that new lipstick, pimple-medicine or super-diet soda if we didn't feel ugly, acne-ridden or fat! Read fewer magazines, watch less telly, far fewer movies... ;-) there you are. It'll heal from that end too, slow and sure (it does for me!).

Jaxxy

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