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How do I break up with my boyfriend?

How Should I Break Up With My Boyfriend?

  • Me and my boyfriend have been dating for 2 years and 9 months, ever since the end of middle school. We're starting to look into colleges and post-high school plans as juniors now. We have been through so much together, more than many couples, and have both grown as we become young adults but I feel that we have grown from being similar to being different which causes arguments that escalate between us. Lately, we have been fighting a lot and arguing and I have been thinking a while that I want to break it off with him, and I know that by thinking about it, it is probably better that I do. If I still loved him like I once did, I wouldn't even think about it. He has held me back from wanting to do things that I feel would have been amazing experiences (I wanted to go to pre-college in Vermont as a junior but he guilted me into staying, I traveled to Italy and Greece and he guilted me the entire time about how I was so far away, and I wanted to go on a trip to Tanzania or Nepal this summer for photojournalism but he guilted me out of that too). I wish he would realize I can't always be near him, he didn't want me going to college in New York when he wanted to go to Boston and wanted me near him. He also gets upset when I do certain things to my hair (I wanted to shave it down but he wouldn't let me, I wanted a mohawk but he argued me out of that, and when I put in my dreadlock extensions he got upset and always commented on them how he hated dreadlocks). It isn't just his fault, I can be a lot to handle and I do get argumentative too and frequently need the last word. I also just don't feel the same any more, I find myself not getting excited when he comes to my house and wishing he would leave. I know it is time to end it, but I don't know how or when. Since we've been going out so long, my mother has grown to love him too. She doesn't know anything is wrong since when we fight, we fight quietly so no one else can hear us. I don't like making our troubles public, and because of that everyone thinks we are perfect and a wonderful power-couple even though that is not the case. I don't know really how to break up with him without making it seem ridiculously out of the blue and make me look like the bad guy. I don't want either one of us to be the "bad guy" here, I want to break up so there in minimal fighting. I know there will be heartbreak because of all we share but I don't want to make either of us the victim and the villain. How should I break up with him? Does anyone have any advice on very long term relationships in high school that don't end JUST because of college, but for many reasons?

  • Answer:

    Just be honest with him and tell him that you think it's time for the two of you to take a break. You're going off to different colleges and it's now time to give yourselves time to be independent people. Don't stay with someone because your parent likes them. Trust your instincts and move on.

Raynebow at Yahoo! Answers Visit the source

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you look him in the eye and say "it's over"

Rumple

Well first of all I am an experienced woman as far as short term and long term relationships go. Trust me, I am now 32 and have been in many kinds of relationships. I am now married to a wonder man and have been with him for 10 years now with zero regret! What you have with your current boyfriend is a normal long term relationship. A new relationship is not going to fix the problem, because later on you will feel just as bored with the new guy. And switching relationships just because they are boring will lead to many many many relationships. You are not always supposed to feel that giddy, happy new relationship feeling. Now having said all that I definitely think you should end your current relationship because you are getting ready to enter adulthood and you are very young. Your 20's are supposed to be a time of exploration and finding out who you are as a person. Your boyfriend will also need this time to explore himself whether he thinks he does or not. To me a long term relationship works best when you truly feel as if you have explored the world and your self to your hearts content and then you will be ready to settle down with someone who has similar goals, dreams and interests. Nothing is worse than a long term marriage and bills and lots of problems and you sitting around full of regrets about what might have been. My suggestion for you is to let him down easy, you need to talk to him in all honesty about how you feel. Lay it all out there and do not be afraid to speak the truth. Anything that can be destroyed by the truth, should be destroyed by the truth. You owe him that. Oh, and another thing he sounds insecure and controlling, he will need to work on that before he is good relationship material. Do not look at other guys and expect them to fulfill your needs, no one will be able to 'make' you happy. You are in charge of your own life story and you are only as happy as you let yourself be. Make dating other guys a fun thing but do not have unrealistic expectations of what someone can do for you. At first, in new relationships just being with that other person makes you happy, but that feeling wears off very fast. Do not be fooled by that 'new relationship' high! It can be very addicting and its a very slippery slope when you think you need to feel that way the entire time you are with someone. Missing that feeling can cause cheating and many breakups. I know a lady who leaves every guy she is with as soon as that feeling is gone, she has been married at least 6 times and she cheated on them repeatedly, she was also married 2 times in the past year!! and she's got 5 or 6 kids. You do not want that kind of life! Your emotions are a very tricky thing to deal with and they are not to be trusted. Go with logic and facts, not just your feelings. Good luck and I wish you the best.

Sarah

If you dont have a future then break up - he cares about you thats why he doesnt want you to part away from him.

Timeless piece

Just tell him that ^^

Lou

Be as gentle as you can, tell him that you dont feel the relationship is working and that you are moving away and want to be free. Be gentle though and dont blame him because breaking up is hard and it can hurt a lot. Good luck with uni!

Miss Anon

If you guys have been fighting a lot lately, maybe your relationship wasn't meant to be. Honestly look him in the eye tell him "its over now." And if he feels the same way, I mean either way you can't make no one stay, so just tell him straight up.

Lovely

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