Should I stay with my boyfriend?

Should I stay with my long-term boyfriend or leave him for New Guy?

• I met my boyfriend 3.5 years ago. After a few months, he moved back to his country and we finished school, for 1.5 years the long-distance relationship lasted. Then I moved to his country and we lived together for 1.5 years. Things were tough for me being in a new country but he was so supportive. We disagreed on some big things like marriage and moving back to my country but he came around and we talked things through with these issues. Things seemed fine, we were so in love and happy together. Then this fall I moved away for a temporary work contract (9 months). It is far away but still in the same timezone at least. Everything was going great. Then I met this guy. This NEVER happened during our 1.5 years of long distance, but somehow I was drawn to this guy like a magnet. I could not stop talking to him. New Guy lives a 5-hour car drive away but we have visited each other 3 times. He is looking for a long-term thing and knows I have a boyfriend but neither of us could resist. He wants to be with me now and I might leave my boyfriend for him. I told my boyfriend about the cheating and he was very hurt but is still determined to come back to get me. He visited me once before and I didn't feel any passion with him, just that we were best friends or he was my brother. Still I LOVE hanging out with him and am happy with him. But New Guy offers things that I have ALWAYS been missing from my boyfriend. He shows his emotions, is more passionate and romantic and sweet to me. My boyfriend is more awkward in terms of affection... I think New Guy can be a great husband too, but I KNOW that my boyfriend would be a perfect husband. So do I leave the safe path that is my boyfriend? And go for this New Guy? My boyfriend has been my only good friend since I left my country, and his family has been my family... He has been everything for me. This also makes it harder ot leave, but it shouldn't be the reason to stay. I have only known this guy for 2 months but we have tried to stop talking 2 times and couldn't. When my boyfriend was here all I could think about was seeing New Guy again. My boyfriend thinks I'm feeling like this because of the distance, and "when" I move back with him everything will be normal again. Yes this could happen but I would have to force myself to lose New Guy. Why should I have to do that? I'm not married... And maybe in the future I would feel unsatisfied after seeing what I'm missing? Advice anybody?

• Answer:

  wow. can i ask age range of the parties involved. it influences the answer. In the mean time... 1. I have an issue with the loyalty thing. What if down the line, you find another guy and the same thing happens, what do you do then? 2. Since things of importance are missing from the prior relationship AND if you feel they cannot be worked out, then maybe the relationship has changed. 3. Keep in mind in any NEW relationship there is this magic which goes away after awhile. You have chemistry right now, but is this person really right for you? "I think New Guy can be a great husband too, but I KNOW that my boyfriend would be a perfect husband. " .... says a lot. "Great" verses "perfect" and you "KNOW" this? Relationships are all about work, commitment, and compromise. What you have now may, or may not end up like what you 'had.' You may want to seek a counselor for further as this seems pretty big decision for you.