Choosing Life Partner...is My Problem.. please guide me..?

MY DEAR SEARCH THAT WHO LOVES YOU WHETHER SHE JOB OR JOB LESS WHEN SHE LOVES YOU TRULY SHE CAN HANDLE MOTHER AND JOB . UTIMATELY U HAVE TO COMPROMISE ON BOTH FRONTS SOME LITTLE U CAN GAIN BIG THINGS

This is too much of a woman's selfishness. She was a woman first and because of you she became Mother. She has no right to control your wife in any manner except show love to that girl who comes to you once and for all leaving her Parents' house. She comes with hopes and dreams. Your Mother cannot destroy her life by keeping her under control. As a Man , it is your duty and responsibility to take care of your Mother in her old age, but it is not correct to bow to all her selfish wishes and as a husband to your wife, it is complete responsibility to take care of her without letting your Mother to treat her as slave and to her unwanted whims and fancies. This is what the meaningless attitude of Mothers of boys. Now as a matter of fact, before marriage rent a separate house and see that you and your wife stays away from your Mother and let your Mother stay alone. It is not necessary for you and your wife to dance to her tunes. Never allow your Mother to command or use harsh words to your wife, either in your presence or absence. Let her speak to you only whenever and whatever she wants, that too without troubling you all the time of the day and night. Now, it is your life and you have to take over everything as a Head of the house. Your Mother is not the Head of the house now. She is a senior member of your family and she should maintain that dignity without troubling both of you from now onwards. Whoever earns and feeds in a family is considered Head of the family. Give your Mother possible help and time, but not for 24x7x365 days. Never allow your Mother to speak harshly to your Wife and at the same time never disrespect your Mother before your wife. But express your views either to your Mother or to your wife, when they are alone and make them understand your mind. You have to make a balancing act now. All Women lack common sense which includes your wife and Mother too. But to be on the safer side, never ever give more liberty to your wife. Another important psychological factor is that earning women carry more ego than Men. It is very difficult to handle women who are economically independent. Men are sex oriented, irresponsible in many aspects of life and women are security oriented, sentimental, possessive and sensitive for no reason. (Better read the book entitled: "MEN ARE FROM MARS AND WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS" - by John Gray without fail, to know the difference between Man and woman). Nobody follows anybody in death. U will not follow your Mother when she dies. What she wants now is peaceful completion of every day. Let her do that without meddling with your personal life. Never show that you are dependent on your wife on everything. Maintain individuality and dignity always with both your Mother and wife. To maintain happiness and peace of mind, both men and women should adapt common sense, logic, observation, understanding, adjustment in their life. There is a proverb: "I want to save food (rice), but at the same time I love my relative". This is called double minded selfish thinking which will never happen. If you want your relative, you have to forego the stock of rice. This is the same thing which happens to you now between your Mother and Wife. As your wife will be coming to you after her stay for many years with their parents, brothers and sisters, you should allow her some time to understand you and the attitude of your Mother. If you Mother wants to be Orthodox let her remain like that. But it is not correct to impose her personal laws either to your wife or to your self. Make her understand this well. Now this is high time, that you take over the leadership at home. These old people will never change themselves to the changing times. That is the worst part of it. But never allow your Mother to spoil your peace of mind, but be a good son, without showing it to your Mother. Be a good husband to your wife. All the best!