Can Honey stop the bleeding on your skin when you get cut please?

How do I stop cutting; I hate it but I need it?

• I started in 7th grade. I'm a sophomore now. I do have depression, had it for years. In 7th grade, it just got visible. But in elementary and middle school, I felt depressed although I never self harmed. Held myself underwater until my lungs burned - but no physical scars or cuts. In 8th grade, I was good. I kind of got out of the depression, but then, I spiraled back into it going into Freshman year. Severely, I hated life. I got terrible grades, the cutting got worse, and I truly didn't care. I wanted to die, to end everything. This year, I'm... I've got terrible grades, I started skipping class - going into the bathroom and just crying. (I can't cry in front of others. It makes me feel angry at myself for being stupid.) I'm trying to get better, I tried to do what a therapist said. I worked out as hard as I could, but it didn't help. Not the same as the cutting. I never cut deep. It's more scratches with sharp objects: broken plastic, razor from razor blade, knives (those cuts are a bit more deeper), and scissors. Lately, my boyfriend gets this sad look on his face when he sees the cuts. It hurts him to know I'm in pain. I truly want to stop, but... I can't? Last time I cut, I was rocking back and forth, crying and I just.. I couldn't feel. I couldn't stop crying. I just started cutting, just slicing my skin. I didn't feel it. Not really, it was like a distant pain. After I calmed down, I could feel them. I wash the cuts out, make sure they never get infected, put lotion on, etc. But, that - I had to cut. It wasn't an impulse, it was a need. Now I have an urge to start carving words into my skin. Sick huh? "Worthless" "Stupid" "Useless" "Freak" "Trash" "Slut" "Weird" "****** Up" and there are more. All negative, and I know it's part depression, part addiction. I just don't know how to stop. I've tried breathing exercises, exercising, etc.. None of it helps. I've even tried getting high, but it didn't work really well either. So how do I stop cutting; I hate it but I need it? Please help.

• Answer:

  You should surround yourself with people that you love and that love you back because when you're around people that care about you you can have fun with them and they'll generally make you feel like you are worth something because you are if you do feel horrible and don't care that much about what happens to you think about how sad your boyfriend looks when he knows you're suffering and he feels like he can't do anything to help you even though I'm sure he wants to and how the people that care about you must feel when they know you're in so much pain try thinking about the pain you cause the people you love. You are NOT worthless every person is beautiful and is worth the world to the right person and your not stupid you've been smart enough to get help and try to stop your self harm and that takes courage to tell people how you feel so you are brave and strong too. You are only a slut if you hook up with randoms and engage in sexual activity with a large number of people. You are not useless or trash I'm sure that if you asked your friends and your boyfriend they could tell you so many good qualities that you have and as for "freak" "weird" and "****** up" being normal is overrated and boring being different gives you character and your own personality instead of trying to be what other people call normal be who you really are and do what you love how boring would it be if everyone was "normal" some people like normal but the right people will LOVE you for you. Give everything that you could use to hurt yourself to people that would keep them away from you. Try to find things that make you feel good about yourself like songs you find empowering (I'm not sure what music you like but you could try "Never Give In" by BVB or "Part Of Me" by Katy Perry) and listen to them whenever your emotions and stress become bad enough that you want to cut again. For some people it helps them get through personal problems if they help others. I know depression can affect your energy level so you should keep exercising to help maintain your energy but if you're severely underweight make sure you're eating right when you exercise you don't want to make that any worse. I really hope this helps