Why am I afraid of infatuation?

Girl jumps from one infatuation to another infatuation?

• I will not diagnose her as Borderline Personality Disorder, I'm not an expert. But she was sexually traumatized as a child, and her brother and mother both have schizophrenia. Her father died when she was 10 and she was raised by her grandmother. We began dating about 4 months ago, and she fell hard for me. Prior to her dating me she was on the rebound from a 1 year relationship of a guy she met on deployment in Iraq. I mean she left the man, and moved to a new guy in no time. Now I'm in the scene, she was very seductive and craved sex. She has a promiscuous past. I fell for her hard for about 2 months. She is a good girl and would doing just about anything to help a stranger out. I just think her unfortunate past has led to this behavior were she is so easily infatuated with men, and seeks it and needs it. We have an odd relationship as of now, because I stop treating her romantically. I no longer take her out on dates. While at times she almost begs for sex, I cant get myself to do it. (1) She lives a lifestyle of a college student, were she goes out to clubs and drinks. She is intelligent has a bachelors degree, and at 27 but she still goes out to College clubs. This is a turn-off to me, and I know she has made bad decisions and slipped up a couple of time. Being (A) stayed the night a people house she has only meant once or twice, or (b) taking on a friendship with the DJ (her new infatuation), nothing wrong with DJ's but she turned into a bit of a groupie. She travels to different shows with him, she has taken on his lifestyle. These events have led to the destruction of my passion for her. But I still do have compassion for her. I have called her out on her behavior, and stated its not healthy to jump from one infatuation to another, she loses her identity in this process. I really envision myself staying friends with her because if she sorts this stuff out (which may take 3-5 years with professional help) i feel she will become more stable and fulfill her potential, I want to have a positive influence on her life as a friend. I have brought it up to her about seeing a Therapist. She says its on list of things to do, but at this time in her life she doesn't want to go through a breakdown to have breakthrough. How do I approach this situation going forward? Most likely she is infatuated with other men right now, as I have killed our romantic vibe, I don't put up with this behavior as a romantic partner, I like exclusivity. I refuse to exploit her weakness just to have sex. How can I build a friendship bond that will encourage her to see a Therapist. I will not remain her friend, if she doesn't seek help and evolve and maximize her potential. I hate self destructive behavior. I'm just not sure If i should cut her out completely, or continue to be activity partner (Ex going to concerts and the gym). She is a sweetheart, but she has emotional baggage. I want to help from a friend side, but I don't want her drama to consume my life. Stay or go?

• Answer:

  Leave the girl alone. I know she had some harm done to her, but you can't keep blaming her actions on what someone else did to her. She knows right from wrong despite what happened to her, but from the looks of it, she keeps doing the wrong decisions. She needs to take responsibility for herself because her actions are just hurting her and nobody else. Whoever harmed her won't have anything done to them if something happens to her. Watch the Madea goes to Jail movie and you'll see what I'm talking about. Don't watch the live play, but the actual movie and you'll see what I'm trying to say.