I need a perfect watch for a nurse.

Need advice on how to help my nana? URGENT help needed any advice welcome please i am begging...?

• After years of health issues being ignored by the crappy UK NHS, my nana has recently been diagnosed with Dementia following an MRI scan, all though we have seen her deteriorate for years, she has also been declared blind (she can see a bit but blurred), she is incontinent, has a bad prolapse down below and had numerous heart/blood problems, ALL which could of been treated or prevented if she had recieved the correct care. Because of neglection, over the past 3 months, we have seen her mental awareness rapidly drop, sometimes she seems ok, but a lot of the time she is confused, you cant have a conversation with her, and she cant understand us or remember our names (she does recognize us though)... For nearly three weeks now, she has spent morning til night, day in day out, every single day in the bath, refusing to get out for anybody except for bed, and even then she gets up as early as possible before her husband is awake (he is her registered carer) and gets back in. We have tried everything to get her out, we have tried turning the water heat off but she knows how to turn it back on, if we try to take out the plug she sits on it, and not only that but she cries and gets so upset and we don't have the heart to force her out. We are a large close family and we hate seeing her this upset, she is depressed and hates being in the bath but she claims it burns her legs with her incontinence and hates wetting her self even though she has tena lady pads to stop any leaking. After her mental health nurse and GP doctor ignored us asking for help for 2 weeks, he finally diagnosed her with UTI (urinary tract infection). They have told us that this amount of time spent in the bath is bad for her bladder and her health, mentally and physically but we dont know what to do to get her out, she isn't stupid and she gets very upset/ agressive when we try to reason with her. 2 nights ago i stayed over to give my grandad a good nights sleep as she gets up through the night, and when i woke up, i set my alarm for 6am and found her already in the bath but she was unconcious, she wouldnt wake up and the water was just below her mouth so she could of drowned, we rang an ambulance, and at hospital, still unconcious, she was taken for loads of tests and scans to see what happened, they couldnt find anything obvious after the CT scan and tests, and at 3pm she woke up, and the next day (today) they discharged her, after we begged them to keep her in and help, they claimed that because she wasnt urgently ill and she had perked up again, they couldnt keep her in. So we took her home. Straight away, she tricked my grandad in saying she was going to the toilet, and she got straight in the bath, she is still in there now. I know it isnt seriously harming her, but we cant watch her all night, what if she falls unconcious and we arent there and she drowns? Please help me, I am only 21, I havent had a social life since last year, i am working 7 days a week morning and night to pay bills and for her healthcare, and a solicitor i have hired to take action. but cant afford to go privately, and i cant afford a decent care home for her, and dont trust them after all the horror stories i have read about the staff! Please any advice welcome?? For now i just need to get my nana out the bath :( Additional Details I spend all my free time with her, she is like my best friend and have always told me everything, i sit in the bathroom with her and suggest an hour in the park or go for lunch or to the beach, she is a stubborn woman and even if i mention these things she gets angry at me and cries.

• Answer:

  Hello I was in a similiar situation with my father, when he was 57 he had a heart attack and as a result sustained an anoxic brain injury. I was only 24 at the time and like so many we did not have health insurance. Had we had health insurance this would have not happened. 6 month prior to his heart attack he had a much minor heart attack becuz he was a heavier man 300lbs the doctors told us that he was to big to be put on the table that would inject ink into his atteries to see if any ateries are blocked. We found out after the bad Heart attack that it was due to a 98% blockage in one of the main ateries this time he was able to have the dye test and they inserted a shunt to open the attery but by that time the brain damage had already been done. They doctors never said nething about his weight then, but it could have also been because we were told he had been in congestive heart failure for about a year before his 1st HA. This had caused his body to retain so much water making his gain a lot of weight. When he went into the hospital for the 1st heart attack he weighed 340lbs by the time he left he weighed 300lb. That is how much fluid his body retained over that year he was sick and we didn't know it. It was very hard they wanted us to send him to a senior home but there was no way we were gonna do that, I also come from a big family there are 3 girls and 1 boy so we figured between all of us we would bable to care for him. Upon getting ready to leave home a social worker came in and told us that if we took him home that they would have to contact social services becuz he still needed so much care. So we agreed to send him to a senior home just until he was able to swollow on his own. I have never even had nightmares about how bad that place was we would stay there all day until visiting hours were over just to make sure he was being cared for. then about a month later he was denied for the 2nd time for any asistance so then they told us to come pick him up. Because I was the only one not working at the time I would go over after I took my daughter to school and then I would stay till about 6 or 8 and then my sister would take over. It was so hard becuz he would wake at all hours of the night and he would always repeat "mom, mom" all day he would yell that. I would feed him and he would forget and tell my sister I haven't feed him in fdays and that I was starving him. He would see something on tv and think it was real, like one night he wokeus all up at 2am yelling for us to get out of the house becauz the bunker was gonna blow. Come to find out he was watching a special on the attempted assasination of Hitler. I know its hard sweetie and it takes evey ounce of you to care for this person you love so much and you have to watch them drift so far away from the person you once new. I don't know if this sound stupid but make you could get a tarp and one the those baby pools and put in a room that is easier to keep an eye on her then you could have more control over the water level. I am sorry that is really the only thing I could think of right now but I can feel your pain and I just had to reach out to you and tell you to hang in there you are a wonderful person. No one ever knows how hard it is to take care of someone like that unless you have done it. I will keep thinking of ideas hopefully we can come up with something to give you a little relief. Just know I am sending positive energy your way God Bless.