How am i supposed to get a girlfriend when i have social anxiety?

i have very extreme social anxiety, it's only gotten worse over the years so i can't give you much advice in that aspect but i will tell you i have had girlfriends. i've found -- with dating.. it's best to meet people online. because if you meet them online first then you already have a good idea of how/who they are, as they do with you. with that preface it makes the meeting in person a lot more chill than it is to just approach a girl.. at least in my experience. i'd give it a shot if i were you... if theres any particular girls you're interested in at school try hitting them up on facebook? it's definitely not a hopeless thing.

I sympathize with you, that can be a very hard thing to deal with. I just wanted to tell you about an online dating website that my sister, brother and I just created for people with social anxiety - www.datinglikeme.com. We all suffered from hyperhidrosis (overexcessive sweating), which made dating a challenge for us too. It is brand new, so check it out!

u need healing See my other posts =what is vitally important is to choose your healing route- for this problem ----- carefully from good information—that means knowing druggs/meds treatment for this can/will be damaging to your mind and body .drugs only mask the symptoms they do not cure. This info well –it will save ---years of suffering = if you apply it .. All treatment recommended by the doctors should be tested and approved and quite rightly so. That makes sense It costs millions of pounds to test and approve just one treatment. Drug companies pay for most testing and I mean only look at treatments, which show the promise of good deal of a profit, --they will actively dismiss any therapy which does not have profit potential— thus your doctor will only recommend therapies that have been tested with profit potential in them. Despite The fact that some of these other therapies mentioned below do have overwhelming benefits some, which have saved massive amounts of suffering Drugs are not the answer for any mental illness-- at best they mask symptoms This is a fundamental principle grasp this fully – Have you heard your local doctor recommend, Massage Spiritual healing, reiki Light therapy, Colour therapy, the violet ray therapy, Osteopathy, Electrical Frequency devices. Karma therapy and u wont because no one can put a patent on these powerful therapies . For much more info/ detail and research behind this protocol Go here http://uk.groups.yahoo.com/group/theholistichealingofdepressiongroup/ Upon joining this group you will be sent a file giving the info –or go to the files section within the group and u will see it there Print this all off save it and enact it and share it --- of course someone to help you get these therapies in your life is invaluable but do not be swayed by anyone trying for short cuts … . 1,get someone to massage your back and legs at least 3 times a week use peanut oil or a mix of 50-50 olive and peanut oil. 2 use the violet ray machine an Edgar Cayce device google search this --- 3 times a week on the other days especially on the spine….we use it every day with very positive results 3.get a tent sleep out side 3times a week utilising earth energy - nature can help big time especially with how you feel how much energy you have 4 study and apply good nutrition— adele davis books =protein minerals =iron essential fatty acids omega 3 6 9 protein etc 5 ensure your thyroid is working well get it checked 6 ensure you do at least I hr per day some kind of voluntary work when you are able..the reasons you are ill , or poor or have allsorts of bad things happen to you is because of karma -----usually from past lives but some from this one –voluntary work will offset your mistakes--- how much it offsets well that is down to god and how much you do. Healing us is in direct proportion to the help we give others ie your healing comes with helping others achieve theirs so if people are doing very little in helping others ---they suffer more and longer...and if they are doing a lot they get well faster....so now you know what to do ,,and like a lot of us are already doing being of service. 7 be amongst people who are giving, friendly who have time for you who love you , choose your friends well . choose your company well. 8 get to a place which personally love or like 9 do some work which you like or love 10 ensure you do no acts which hurt or inflict on anyone –don’t want to add to your karma do we !!! 11 spiritual healing and reiki find good therapists who offer this service in your area many spiritualist churches which are all around offer this for free as part of their vocational offerings to the divine. 12 focus your mind - think good positive thoughts, laughter, look at comedy, play good uplifting music, 13 avoid at all costs exposure to violence, murders, suffering ,death ,tragedies, -feed upon good things uplifting things, things that feel like a breath of fresh air.. 14 Positive affirmation- t programme your self in the mirror , thoughts are things words are things actions are things , all have influence, few people realise these things can have an effect on themselves . 15 get a detox ------ toxins can influence how you feel big time 16 hugs get plenty of them in your daily life you would be amazed at how people feel after a few decent hugs.== find a big tree and hug that. . 17 loads of exercise running walking climbing but something which you enjoy 18 light therapy sunshine /light box and vitamin d and ensure water intake 2 litres a day A total cure however is tied up with karma so you can imagine just how important is the voluntary work. The more u do the better u will feel .

When I read your message, it reminded me of myself quite a bit. Social Anxiety has been a part of my life since I was a child. You're not alone in this. I'm 31 now, but I remember all too well how it is to have your mentality for when I was 17 I viewed the world in the same manner. To a large extent, I still do. Human companionship is a need that is hard wired within all of us, and your insatiable need for companionship only speaks of your normalcy. Whether or not modern psychology can benefit every one, is something I question, but I do believe that it helps many. I urge you to seek a mental health professional in order to address your profound loneliness and sense of isolation. As you've stated, your physical appearance is not what's keeping you from having a girl in your life, so it's not as though you are deficient in the physical sense; for that reason I would imagine that there have been many women that have longed to talk to you as well, but because of your verbal and non verbal cues that display anxiety and distress, people are less inclined to approach you in spite of your physicality. If I were to say that when you get older you stop longing for people in your life, I would be blatantly lying to you, but I can assure you that when you get older it becomes apparent that sex and the companionship can only make you happy for so long. As cliche as it sounds, you have to attain self acceptance before you can ever truly be happy. I've found a few people that gave me the chance to be a part of their life, and I'm sure life has many more than a few opportunities for you to experience the same thing, but happiness is more complex than that, you need to like yourself and find what you're true calling in the world is. Once you utilize that gift, you' realize that other people are only one part of the overall equation of contentment. If and when you enter therapy for this issue, which I advise, they will probably approach you using a Exposure and Response Prevention methodology whereby ironically enough they gradually ask you to go into social situations, which would be very small at first, and more impressive in complexity and anxiety as time progresses in order to de-sensitive this pervasive fear you are experiencing. Yes, I'm aware of the irony that in order to get over this you must expose yourself to what it is you fear in the first place, but having a therapist to help you along this path will make the process more bearable. You're going to be ok kid. I promise. I never want to force religion on anyone, but it would be unethical for me not to let you know that even when you feel completely isolated, there is someone who loves you and thinks of you incessantly. That person is God, and He's not a fairy tale. You're never really alone. Google-Call 211 to learn of mental health practitioners in your area. Often times, there are a few options even in smaller towns that offer counseling at virtually no cost to you if you are uninsured or in your case, just a kid who's starting out. I wish you well, and if you wish, you can talk to me about what it is you're going through. I don't have all the answers, and as I've said share your struggle to a large extent, but I'd be glad to talk if you'd like.

I wonder the exact same thing. I'm a girl with social anxiety and have only ever had one boyfriend but he ended it because I apparently didn't open up enough. Oh well, he didn't treat me that good anyway. Honestly, if you lived near me, you sound like my kind of guy so just keep your head up because there will be more girls out there like me who would love a guy like you. Sorry if that sounded creepy hahah, I'm just saying that I'm sure you'll get a girlfriend because you sound like a great guy.