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How to be serious and stick to a commitment?

Was I right to ask for commitment?

  • I met a 35yo female on a dating site and despite sleeping with each other on the second and third date she still wants to date a man she has been in contact with her but not met up with yet. She knows I'm not happy about it but believes she has been honest with me so no harm is being done. That she's keeping her options open to find the right man to settle with and that she likes me but isn't sure yet what she wants yet. I did ask how she would feel if I did that and she said she hadn't thought about it. When she left the other morning I felt down beat when I should have been beaming. I would never dream of sleeping with someone, keep dating them and dating other girls and expect that she would be happy with that and I don't accept that she can do this to me either. I have principles and morals and don't feel I should compromise those and that she was showing no regard for my feelings. I spoke to her and told her this in a softened version and that I wouldn't ask her not to see this guy but Im going to stick to the principles I have and that I would walk away from it. I wasnt looking for long term commitment but a commitment to seeing if we could work and if not then we look elsewhere. She agreed to that saying that she had felt a bit bad when she left that morning and considered it may not be right to be sleeping with someone and then go on a date with someone else and that she wouldn't see him and give us a shot. Thing is one of my friends said that I've been controlling and now Im worried I shouldn't have said it and left her to meet him. What do you think?

  • Answer:

    If your looking for a relationship then you did the right thing. Why spend your life living the way someone else wants you to which makes you uneasy? Why not work on a relationship that makes both parties happy? You are not being controlling, just looking out for what you believe in and what you want/need in your relationships. On the other hand, if she feels the need to see other people I am not sure she is ready to settle down. If you were the one she was looking for she would not still be "testing the water". My interpretation is that she is holding on to you until she finds something better. It may be best to let this one go if you want more than sex out of it......based upon what I gather from your story.

Steven at Yahoo! Answers Visit the source

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I like the part where you have principles and morals and you slept with her on the 2nd and third dates. :P Sounds like she just wants to sleep around, and hey that's what she's doing so I guess that's working out for her. Just remember that STD's don't care what your principles and morals are.

wraith7n

Let me tell you something Steven, the words from a nineteen year old player. Never make a woman your everything. In not doing so, she will.

Cristiano

its not really fair to ask for commitment from someone who was okay with sleeping with you on a second date.

Sunny delight ♥

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