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WHAT CAN WE DO TO GAIN CUSTODY OF MY STEPDAUGHTER?

• Hello I have been on this group for awhile I am writing about a very stressful situation with my sd. My fiance and I have been staying together over a year now in alabama. Before I met him about 2 months before his then 11 year old daughter had stayed with him and his mom from jan-dec of 2010 in atlanta ga. Right before xmas her mother snatches her up. she was pose to go for xmas break but mom didnt return her. I guess for income tax reasons. Anyway my first intereaction was when my sd graduated from 5th grade. We got a phone call a hour before graduation, and in alabama we are 1 hours behind anyway. SO I didnt go to class that day I went home and my fiance and I got ready to head to atlanta 2hrs away. Anyway we didnt make it in time but he had 2 other kids to graduate that week so we wanted to take them out to eat. Well when he called my sd mother she went off mad because he was there and wouldnt let him speak with her. He is on cs for 3 kids and my 12 year old sd mother if he is behind goes and files an contempt. My fiance never had a real job until he moved to alabama. But before he got it while he was looking We had to go to court for cs for her jun 22.. he payed the 2 months cs and we proceeded o go get his record expunged. While there a warrant for child abandonent came up that was filed by the same mother that we had just left court with. My fiance stayed in jail for 3 days I payed 396 to get him out, I was furious how can they lock you up when you tryna better yoself to get a job. Anyway he got out and aout a month later got a job with temp service. Anyway we made sure to send her some every month. Anyway we finally got to get my sd for summer because we was takin kids to six flags. Then the next school year started not even 2 full weeks afterwards we stared getting phone calls that my sd was acting up in school not doin work, fights, and finally a letter sayin she wanna kill herself, when that letter came about mom called here crying said she was on the bed counting her pills because she didnt know if my sd had taken any (mom has mental problems) well she finaaly got evaluated we dont know the finding but my sd was seein a counselor and a psychothepist. Well the behavior didnt stop there was still more phone calls and when she got in trouble her mom would call yelling tellin my fiance come get the lil B8*tch or she would let children services get her. My sd came and spent thanksgiving break with us, while her without question she informed us that she never seen any childsupport her mother spends it on herself, she dont get new clothes she gets hand me down and thrift store, everytime she needs some her mom tells her to call her father, her mom is always clubin and she is either home alone, at grandmas, or next door hanginf with a 16 year old who was in sex, and drugs. She also said that she has seen videos of her mom on her computer with other men and women having sex. And dat she hears it, and her mother smokes weed. Well we took her back xmas and her mom claimed she was depressed so we took sd to her grandma house, which made her upset because she wanted to be with mom. My sd wasnt home a week and she had to go to court or a meetin they was talkin of holding her back in 6th grade and puttin her in alternative school, the day of court and before decision mother met us halfway and dropped stepdaughter off with school transcript, personal infor, and a signed letter giving custody to my fiance from that date. We enrolled sd in school her grades have increased dramatically, but we still have some behavioral problems which mostly coome when she communicates with mother. My sd spent spring break with mother and the drama came back, she told her mother that her father be abusing her, she has only gotten one whipping since she been here and I witnessed it. And apparently we just do her wrong, but aint much we can do to her she stays on punishment. When my sd came back a day late, her mother had shaved the back of her hesad (i guess because the side of hers is shaved) and my sd had a whole new attitude. One of our punishments was for her not to have a cell phone while on punishment. We gave the phone to her mother that she came down here with, just to find out that her mother had gave her another phone that we wasnt pose to know she had. so she is teachin my sd to be rebellious. We are getting my sd help she has a counselor my sd has been diagnosed with ADHD & ODD. She has a real bad attitude problem and doesnt like nobody telling her what to do. My stepdaughter has been moved around alot by her mother she went from mom-dad-grandma-back to mom- and now back to dad. She has no sense of structure or boundaries or stability, come to find out she had really no rules at moms house. Anyway we filled for custody here, so what do you think out chances of custody is? And mom just lost custody of her 2 lil boys to her xhusband and their father last year as well. Caseworker called my fiance and told him if he wanted

• Answer:

  I hate to be the one to tell you this...she is not your step-daughter. You aren't married. You would hold very little value to this case if it went to court. So. Your boyfriend, having a signed letter giving him custody would likely hold up in his favor in court. He should also send his daughter to therapy. She needs it.