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National honor society--essay, can I get in?

• This is my essay...my application in terms of community service, co-curriculars, awards, and leadership is fairly decent (58 hours service, 3 leadership positions, 6 cocurriculars and 4 awards) As a member of the Fenton Chapter of the National Honor Society, you will serve your community. In your essay, address the value of being a person who regularly engages in community service. The value of being an individual who regularly engages in community service is the value of having the ability to help others. Being in a position to serve and give back to the community which cultured me gives me an opportunity to demonstrate what I have learned about life. Originating from a third world country and annually visiting family and friends there, I have a humbling perspective of the value of life itself. Life is a dear commodity we fail to take advantage of--and having witnessed the battle endured by many poverty stricken families, I understand that service to another can be the difference between hunger and starvation till death. When I was in India during winter break last year, my mother went to an orphanage by the name of Dil Se-- and she related to me the excitement of the defenseless children as they saw a stranger walk in, they began dancing out of sheer relief that she had brought them some old clothes. Some of the older girls of the orphanage went out to fetch some tea (from the tea maker on the other side of the road), and they graciously poured my mother some. They proudly showed her around their small orphanage like it was a palace, they served her the best cakes they could afford and treated her like a queen. This piece of life which my mother shared with me helped change my outlook on life. I slowly began to realize that everything is not just fun and games-- there are a lot of people suffering in this world. Amongst those suffering, there are many who probably deserve far better than what they are being put through--whereas I am living a wrongfully privileged life in a modern country, in a well-off home, and in a safe environment. One thing I saw in India that opened my eyes to reality was children barely eight years of age caring for their infant siblings while their parents begged for a few measly rupees on the crowded dirt roads of Lajpat Nagar (market in Delhi). I saw babies whose ribcages I could clearly see, wailing on the side of the road out of hunger and fear. I have come to realize that if I can be of any help to a needy soul, then it is my responsibility as a person who has not been denied of any necessity or right to help that person or those people. The National Honor Society values individuals who encompass qualities of compassion, dedication, and leadership. I wish to be an ambassador between those who help and those who are in need of help-- I want to work to build a strong community in which we can all rely on one another for aid. It is my goal to improve myself as a person along with the society and people around me. The true value of helping others is not any award, recognition, or self-satisfaction one can receive; it is the honor of being bestowed with the opportunity to aid another life in this cruel race for existence.

• Answer:

  That was beautiful and deep... They would be very stupid if they don't choose you. I was on National Honor Society and I entered without writing so deep as you did. You really deserved it. My best wishes for you and I hope you enter!!!