How can I be more outgoing?

How can I be more outgoing again? ?

• I'm naturally an introvert, but back in high school i became more outgoing over time and i was that way for a while. However, now i'm 21 and i've gone back to being more shy and awkward. I don't know what happened. I also notice that i've started having inferiority thoughts. Like when i think about talking to someone the way i used to when i was outgoing, i feel like might get annoying or something. It's weird. I feel like I've gone back to the way i used to be when i was little and i want to be outgoing again but i don't remember exactly what i did in high school to become more outgoing. Any tips? And any ways i can remind myself that i'm not annoying. That's the biggest thing that stops me and makes me uncomfortable talking to people

• Answer:

  Just don't be too hard on yourself. Maybe try getting back into the social scene a lit at a time and gradually build it up. I think it is your thoughts that are the problem they are bringing you down. I read a book called "the confidence gap: from fear to freedom" by Russ Harris. In the book it suggests you deal with the negative thoughts by letting them go. Let them come and go inside your head and don't focus on them. Its when we give them attention and believe them that they do there damage. Just be aware and next time the negative thoughts come up notice it "I am now thinking negative thoughts about yourself" by noticing it like that it is supposed to distance you from those thoughts a little bit. Also think "are these negative thoughts helpful?" "are these negative thoughts helping me socialise better?". If you can rationalise that the negative thoughts are not helpful this may help you. Also when you are talking try to focus on the conservation and not your thoughts, listen to what they are saying and what your reply/opinion is. If all else fails ask them something about themselves or something they are interested in as they will like talking about themselves and will engage in the conversation more.