What is a self tailing winch?

Abused bullied unloved and different?

• I was abused as a child, bullied and rejected in school, and unloved. I am different from typical youths who party, dance, hang out, et cetera. On the contrary. I do not drink, do drugs, smoke, and dance. I prefer staying home alone or hanging out with a close friend or two. But I do not have any friends. They went away for college after high school, and I'm all alone, waiting for college to start in the Fall. I dropped out of college before classes had started because I was so socially anxious, and decided not to go away after the orientation. My brother calls me a nerd who always fails. My sister said she probably wouldn't befriend me if we were classmates and not sisters. I try not to give in to society's label of being a dork or a loser but I feel so depressed. I am intelligent but lack confidence and have no self-esteem. I like reading and tailing to adults and therefore am uncool. Why am I so different? Why am I me? The smile on my dad's face fades away when he looks at me. Why do my parents favor my siblings? They've been doing this ever since I was really young. I was abused. I was knocked on the head with my mom's knuckles. I was sent to a poor place where I live and threatened to be abandoned. I just want to be loved and accepted for who I am. Does love even exist? :( Does anyone out there understand me?

• Answer:

  While you feel isolated, you are not the only one living under similar circumstances. My advice is to work on yourself, set goals and succeed (or recognize that you have already done so); over time you will recognize that you are competent and have no reason to think that you have some reason to believe you are in any way deficient (my impression of an aspect of lack of self-confidence or shyness). Moreover, pretty/handsome people are not always happy, successful, and socially attractive. Attitude plays a huge role in how attractive a person is. That is why the words attractive and pretty/beautiful are needed in our vocabulary. Some of the most attractive people I know are not the prettiest people I know. One's attitude may be self-defeating or self-reinforcing, the psychological concept of the self-fulfilling prophesy indicates that our expectations subconsciously affect our behavior, either by their positive effects (from a positive attitude) or negative effects (from a negative attitude). And, it has been empirically proven that acting as if one is happy can be a method of being more positive in their life. And, a happy person is an attractive person. Even if you don't want to hear it, you need to accept yourself as you are, then do what you can to develop your physical and emotional traits. The problem with intentional thought (thinking too much about anything, or worrying about how someone will view your performance) when performing any skilled behavior, be it speaking to a stranger, an academic performance, or an athletic performance, is that this conscious thought interferes with the automated subconscious mental processes necessary for optimal performance. The route to optimal performance is to practice until behavior becomes automatic. In changing one’s behavior, there is a possibility of not get it right at the beginning, only practice can bring about the results desired. And, this practice is necessary to implant the proper neurological connections in the brain that make the subconscious programming possible. So, relax and be yourself, allow yourself to make errors (because you will), then learn from the mistakes. See: “Incognito: The Secret Lives of the Brain,” by Dr David Eagleman, who directs the Laboratory for Perception and Action and the Initiative on Neuroscience and Law, Baylor College of Medicine. Depression self-help for teens: http://www.helpguide.org/mental/depression_teen_teenagers.htm The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one. Elbert Hubbard (1856-1915) What we hope ever to do with ease, we must learn first to do with diligence. Samuel Johnson I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it. Groucho Marx (1895-1977) People are just about as happy as they make up their minds to be. Abraham Lincoln The mind is its own place, and in itself Can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven. John Milton, Paradise Lost, Chapter 1 (1667) If you break your neck, if you have nothing to eat, if your house is on fire - then you got a problem. Everything else is inconvenience. Robert Fulghum If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment. Marcus Aurelius (A.D. 161-180) Self-pity is easily the most destructive of the nonpharmaceutical narcotics; it is addictive, gives momentary pleasure and separates the victim from reality. John W. Gardner (1912–2002) A man is but the product of his thoughts, what he thinks, he becomes. Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948) Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt. Shakespeare If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. … You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. … With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy. Max Ehrmann (1872-1945), Desiderata (c. 1920s)