My boyfriend wants to be a Merchant Mariner, I'm a little worried. How long is the average time at sea?

My husband's a US Merchant Marine, and I can hopefully not confuse you even more with info that is more US-based (other countries may have different requirements). There is no one set way to 'become' a MM. Generally in the US, the basic requirements are listed here: http://www.uscg.mil/nmc/ The site also lists fees (since nothing is free, but if your boyfriend finds this to be a good profession, it will be a great investment in his future); if he joins a union (preferable, since many shipping companies get their crews through unions since this absolves them of having to deal with insurance and benefits and such for assignments that may only last a few months or so), his fees/dues will also go for any extra education he might need, as well as the all-important pension, medical and other benefits. There are pretty much 3 'sectors' on any ship and the Licensed- Deck (captain, mates), Engine (chief, asst engs), and Unlicensed (Deck has ABs and OSs; Engine has QMED, wipers and oilers) and Steward (kitchen, basic cleanup, etc). For the Deck and Engine, there are specific requirements pertaining to the sea time (which also includes 'time' on inland waters), education (licensed sides require specific tests to qualify for ships of certain sizes), and you will need to pass background checks and medical (actually, for all three sectors, you need to pass the last two). Pay is relative. This is a profession where EVERYONE starts out at the bottom rung of their chosen portion (deck/engine/steward) and you work your way up the rungs based on time at sea. Pay is also dependent on the size of the ship (pay for a captain on a tug would obviously be nowhere near the pay of a captain on a giant freighter), as well as the length of your assignment. Some ships have rotating crews that are on 60 days, then they switch with another crew and are off 60 days. In the US, many MM also do 120 day rotations on MARAD and MSC (military supply ships). My husband has former classmates (he graduated from Kings Point) that work on the ferries; these guys come home every night. You can work as a MM in Inland Waters (usually those barges and such that you see along the coast, or the larger navigable rivers), Great Lakes (mostly freight/container ships) or Deep Sea (everything else). Licenses range from Limited (depends on the size of the ship or horsepower) to Unlimited (you can pretty much sail on anything that floats). Not too sure about the Deck and Steward, but in the Engine section, your license will also specify the type of motor (gas/motor (diesel)/steam) engine you can sail on. ANY job is dangerous. My husband has felt more fear dealing with rush-hour traffic in NYC than being tossed around his engine room during a hurricane. The most dangerous jobs - yes - are on small fishing/lobster boats, but in a sense, many MMs don't consider them actual MMs, but rather fisher/lobstermen. Pirates have always been an issue, whether it's the recent rash of thugs outside of Somalia, or the pirates in the far east near Singapore (but countries in that area don't treat pirates nicely, and actually use their death sentences on them...yay). Many larger ships, belonging to companies that know that they have valuable freight, will provide 'security' that will accompany the ships that go through pirate zones (my husband's ship usually picks up 6 snipers as soon as they exit the Suez). Generally, though, depending on the Run, most ships never have to deal with this. The length of time it takes to become a MM depends on what your boyfriend wants to do; many licensed deck and engine MM may start out as unlicensed, and through time at sea and training, work their way up the ranks to become licensed (they're known as hawspipers). This can take years, but for those that cannot get into the maritime colleges (usually a part of a state's college system), or pay for a school like Paul Hall (http://www.seafarers.org/phc/), it's often a decent alternative. Some start out working for tug companies, or with supply ships for oil rigs, just to get a feel of the profession. Some of the work is dirty, hard, and some guys simply aren't cut out for it. Many times the wives/girlfriends might expect something very different with their guy being away from home for any length of time. My husband and I manage very well with his time at work; but it takes a level of maturity on both sides, as well as trust and support. Frankly, the one time he tried a landside MM-based job as a port engineer, he drove me bonkers being home All. The. Time. (lol). If you want any other advice or info, you can pm me if you want.

ever hear of the saying "absence makes the heart grow fonder"? its true. as long as the relationship can stand the time apart to begin with, which is questionable on a boyfriend/girlfriend level, when you two do get back together, the longer you've been apart, the more magical reunion will be. time at sea depends very much on exactly what he doing and with who. pay is always good for those kind of jobs, has to be to get people away from homes for long periods of time, and has to be because the ocean is not forgiving. anything involving the ocean has built in dangers. but everything has dangers of some form. pirates, certain areas that matters more, and for the most part they arent interested inkilling. plus they have had enough effect and publicity that there is new policies for protection of shipping, including navies getting into the act. fees and how long it takes depends on exactly what he will be doing and with whom.