How do I talk to my parents about being an exchange student?

Some advice for a lonely exchange student?

• I just arrived in France about a week ago qnd I'm going to be staying here for about 4 months. My oast family is great -- i can't complain. I just started school yesterday and was really excited. I didn't think making friends would be a problem, as an exchange student. I expected to have to introduce myself and that the students would be considerate enough to help me out a lot, as told by other teenagers i know who have similar experiences behind them. Well, I thought wrong. The French teachers didn't even acknowledge me, and I'm pretty certain half the class thinks I'm just some teenager who speaks really bad french! Still, on the first day, a couple of students approached me and I thought: hey, this seems to be working out after all, but later in the day they ditched me for other french students. Today was school again, and I tried to be optimistic about it, and I don't get ignored or anything, it's just that no one really wants to talk to me, even though my french is quite good and I am capable of good conversation. It's not that the french students are mean or anything -- they always help me out if i've got a problem -- it's just that they don't seem to accept me. I thought it would be much easier, and that they would make some efforts to aid my integration in the french society, but I'm spending a free afternoon in my room, sobbing and surfing the internet. I wouldn't know what I'm doing wrong -- I'm friendly and as talkative as possible and I also approach people. Laybe a problem is that the class I'm in is a new class: it's the first year of the lycée (like a highschool), and not everyoe knows each other yet. a lot of other exchange students who are also in france right now said that they thought it would be easier if no one had their cliques yet, but it's a hundred times worse. I moved to another country a couple of years ago and just joined a class of two years and already on the first day, I had about 10 phone numbers and the next weekend I met up with two girls. I'm sorry if a lot of this is just self-pity -- it's just that I'm really upset, because I really want this exchange to be a memorable and good experience. And right now, I'm wishing to be at home again, not because I'm homesick, but because I'm lonely and I want to feel that I belong. I don't want to go home wanting to forget the 4 months.. and I don't want to disappoint my parents who invested so much money in enabling this by saying tat I had a lousy time. Someone, please help me and give me some tips! Maybe someone who's been n exchange student too. I'd be grateful for any kinds of help.

• Answer:

  I hear you. What part of France are you in? I spent 2.5 years in France, 1 year as a student and 1.5 as an au-pair. I was an au-pair in the south, where people tend to be more open and fun-loving. I met lots of young people among the French and had it not been for the shitty family I was living with, I would say the experience was the best. I studied in the far north of France, in Le Havre, where people are a lot more cold and distant. Still, I was lucky because I arrived as part of an international program with 30+ other foreign students. SO when classes finally started, I had the other foreign students to hand out with. Still I was the odd ball out because I was the only American, whereas others had other people to stick to from their countries. In the end, I was the one who ended up meeting more French students mainly because I didn't have another American to cling to. SO here's my advice- hang in there! My French professor once told me that getting to know the French is like cracking through a coconut with a pin. You have to dig through and dig through but if you make the effort, it'll be worth your while. Get up each morning, hold your head up high and go to school, and continue talking to people as you have. Join some clubs or take some classes and be persistent. Have a party if your family will let you. I'm in the same situation again, studying in yet another foreign country where I DEFINITELY don't fit in, but I have met some people I can call my friends now. Good luck!