Question to anyone who has joined a high school abroad program like AFS, Rotary etc!?

YOU get paid to be a student? No. THEY get paid? Not generally, though it may depend on the program and the country. Rotary does not pay host families, to my knowledge, and generally, on the best known programs, they don't. Yes, you are expected to be a member of the family. If the family members adjourn to the kitchen after a meal to wash the dishes, or take turns doing chores, then you, too, will be expected to do so. Good idea to have a concept of that, you know. We had one student who came to our high school (through YFU), and had no concept of making her own bed! She went home crying about a week after school started. She thought she was being abused by her family! She had a maid at home who followed her around, cleaning up after her. Here's a list of programs. check them out, and you should be able to email and get answers to any questions. http://www.csiet.org/mc/page.do?sitePageId=66167&orgId=cosfiet

To be honest, there are often problems with students who are not expected to do chores in their home countries. Some do not even pick up after themselves -- they are used to maids to do that for them. From the American viewpoint, doing a certain amount of chores is part of being in the family. You (the kids -- exchange AND natural) are fed, given a roof over your head, etc. In turn, you have some responsibility for that environment. In our case, our exchange student is expected to pick up his own room and bathroom as needed. He is also expected to load and unload the dishwasher on a daily basis and to sweep the staircase once a week. The dishes take him 10 - 15 minutes a day and the stairs about the same. The "paid" that you're talking about is an allowance. Many times Americans will give their children an allowance in return for doing chores. It helps them to learn to manage their own money. Most host families do NOT give their students an allowance for their daily chores and you should neither expect it nor ask for it. Now, if we ask our student to do something out of the ordinary -- for example one of our kids and their friends painted our garage -- we paid them for the job. Most other Americans would feel the same way. I always send my students the "house rules" before they come. I send a copy to their parents as well. It's very appropriate for you to ask for them if your host family doesn't volunteer. Usually those rules will tell you what you are responsible for. On my list, the Number 1 rule is "Mom is not the maid!" The big thing to remember is that you are not a guest in your host family's home -- you are a family member. You should expect to participate in ALL activities from attending functions to cleaning the house! If you are not used to doing such things at home, that's OK. But be honest with your family and ask them to teach you! On the other side of the coin, you are also not there to be a maid either. Your chores should be proportional to what other teens in your host family do (or your friends). If you are in doubt, ask your program representative. One last thing -- one of the primary reasons students and host families DON'T get along is a student who expects to be a guest and treated as such. For more tips and tricks on being an exchange student, try this on-line forum and information center. http://www.exchangestudentworld.com/ EDIT: I don't agree with Claudia's assessment that a host family will find you an "entitlement brat" simply because you are not used to doing chores! We've had many students like that -- they have come with a good attitude and a willingness to help out. We had to adjust in the fact that we had to TEACH them and be a little patient when they didn't get it right the first few times. If you come and are WILLING to do your part, just have a sense of humor over the fact that you don't know what you're doing, ask for help learning and then follow up by DOING it! A good host family is willing to help you and, in fact, it can be a bonding experience! The key to this however is the DOING!

I don't pay my son to do his chores and I would NEVER pay an exchange student 1 cent. As a matter of fact, we tossed a student out of house for that. It wasn't the only reason but it was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. His last tantrum because I would not allow him to go through my purse and take money and because I refused to give him spending money on a trip he was taking with the track team, was his last action in my home. Exchange students come with their own money. Some families require their students to pay for ALL their own things like laundry soap and gas money when they want rides. Your mother is right. A host family will see you as spoiled and an entitlement brat, always demanding and never pulling your own weight. Our culture is very different, it's not a question of you being, "good enough," it's a question of our ways being too different and your feelings will get hurt. If you don't understand the concept of chores, you may be like the student we had that DEMANDED we take her to the mall daily. DEMANDED that we go out to eat more often and anywhere she wanted to go. DEMANDED that someone take her to and from school because she refused to ride the school bus. And she refused to do any chores at all. She refused to even wash her own clothes or tidy up her own bathroom. Guess how long she lasted? See, that stuff won't fly here. If you come here determined to live like an American, chores and all, then you would make a good student. If you are set in your ways and aren't willing to learn anything new, then there's no reason to be an exchange student.